Changes

There’s a lot going on right now.  I’ll be honest, I’m not handling it well.  I’m super anxious about the whole thing.  The decisions that were made have been made and there’s no going back on it now.

I tried to get my mind off of it.  I tried to get distracted, but as soon as the other responsible adult left for work I was stuck with my own thoughts, something that isn’t really a great thing when I’m dealing with uncomfortable emotions.

Three times I cried over the whole thing today.  I don’t do change well, not even a little bit.  This whole thing has me twisted in knots.  Thankfully moving is not a part of the process.  I’m hoping we can stay in this place for at least five years.  We’ve got one done already, which means four more to go.  Since most places ask where you’ve lived for the past five years, it would be good to have a nice, long rental history.  Plus in five years my oldest will be getting ready to move out on her own hopefully, so we may just wait until she’s ready to move out on her own and get a smaller place.  Then again, that may not matter if we decide to move south and buy a place.  That would be worth it.

I’ve got to say, I’ll be happy if there are no more changes for a good long while.  I’ve had enough changes for now.  I’m tired of it all.  It makes me feel overwhelmed, which is exhausting.  I’m ready to take a nap and the gray, dark sky isn’t helping things any.  Sunset is not far from now, so that might be part of the problem.

I’m just ready to have my life fall into a predictable routine.  It would be a good change from everything I’ve been dealing with lately.  I need a little bit of calm.

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